My Menopause Story

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I was 38. My mental health was flying out every open window. Very Large Anxiety entered the room, along with Rage. Relationships unraveled. And sleep... sleep became impossible. My cycle looked mostly normal, but big changes were looming, and I knew it. 

In my forties, my cycle stretched. Periods would be weeks or months late. I had it all: hot flashes, night sweats, itching, exhaustion, surprise crying, brain fog. I gained 30 pounds while exercising constantly. Sex felt like broken glass. I could not ride a bike. I could not ride a horse. 

It was so lonely. I searched for solutions to this multidimensional laundry pile and came up with precious little actionable material. 

In my late 40s I started hormone replacement therapy (HRT). It helped… but not enough. The hot flashes eased and I slept a little better. But my nervous system was in constant alarm. 

Menopause kicked my ass. There. I said it. 

I was alone, and I don’t want you to navigate this threshold time alone. I’m not going back to the “before” times; no one does. But we’re not damaged.